Marriage, Divorce, and Re-marriage, Whose Laws Should Be Obeyed?

Marriage, divorce, and re-marriage in the Law of God

What did God say about marriage, divorce, and re-marriage?

1. What do you think about the importance of marriage?

2. Who should we obey regarding marriage?

3. What are the results of the man enforced laws on these topics?

4. If man made laws are saying the opposite of God's Laws regarding marriage, which ones should we obey?

5. What are the positive effects on doing what God said regarding these matters?

6. You, what would you prefer to do?

Marriage - Your own point of view

What do you think about this topic? Is it important for you? Do you think marriage is holy? Or like the others nowadays, do you feel that marriage is just a piece of paper that can be easily ignored and annulled when things don't go as you expected?

Again, your opinion about this topic is based on what happened in your life. Mostly on what happened or is happening with your parent's marriage.

Whatever it is that happens to the people you love affects heavily the amount of importance you give to marriage itself.

So, who should give rules about marriage?

I would like to give you a warning. The following information that you are about to read may strongly oppose to what you already know or believe. So, if you want to stay comfortable with the knowledge you have at the momen, you have to stop reading now.

Ok, if you choose to know the truth about this topic because it's more important than your personal feelings, then please continue reading.

The path that led me into knowing the truth began when i asked a congregation elder, one of my acquaintances in the religion of Jehovah’s Witnesses, why is it that when a person wants to be a “witness” she/he has to be baptized again when they already had a similar ceremony in their old religion. I was one of the Jehovah’s Witnesses back then, I was a so called ministerial servant when I asked this question. He gave me this answer: “You know, their baptism before they knew the ‘truth’ (referring to JW’s teachings) has no effect, since the religion who baptized them isn’t really following what the bible says. Plus, our baptism symbolizes that from now on we’ll be true and only serve ‘Jehovah’.”

The person that answered me didn’t know that what he said just opened a big issue. For me, the logic of his answer that because a religion where the person came from isn’t “the true one”, his baptism isn’t valid (christening for catholics, for example) has a far reaching effect on other facets of my faith and personal convictions. It dawned on me that if a person's religion is not "right" in the sight of God then it follows that all other rituals he have done and undergone in that religion is equally useless and not binding!

Are you following? In the point of view of a religion claiming to be the one approved by God, all other rituals and ceremonies of other religion is actually useless! For example, if you are one of the JW's, then the following sacraments of someone who is a Roman Catholic means nothing to you: Baptism, Eucharist, Reconciliation, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders and Anointing of the Sick. Right?! Right! I did view them that way.

Did you notice marriage being one of them? The next logical question therefore is, should a convert do another wedding ceremony in his new religion? He should! If the principle is to be applied equally and without prejudice. A new convert should wed again!

This brings up to my point. Every religion, every nation with a peculiar belief, would set a particular rule on marriage of which another religion will deem useless.

This is the reason why only the chosen people of God is really married in God's sight. Shocking don't you agree? This will result in a chaotic society if everyone would realize this fact.

This is also the reason why it is imperative that people should abide by God's Law, since it is God who should set the rules, especially about marriage. But instead of letting YHWH rule, people have devised many other law that applies to the marriage of the people, (people who have allowed those laws to have power over them) to the detriment of the human society.

Today, we can find that people are following those manmade laws instead of God's. This is to be expected, since many have chosen to even abandon their belief about God altogether, not considering His laws is just an easy side effect of that. Without God, humanity will have to accept human rule, which is faulty at best.

Let us compare human laws about marriage with God's laws.

Marriage Laws, God's and Man's Compared

Today's laws about marriage vary from country to country and religion to religion, is this the way things should be? No. As pointed out before, this will lead into marriages that are not really acknowledged by God Himself, who actually instituted marriage in the first place. Marriage law should have only one set of rules, everywhere. Yet, we all know that a lot of factors will make this non practicable today.

For countries, the most common laws passed by the government regarding marriage are the allowance of divorce and remarriage.

Making a man with two wives at the same time, illegal. While a man that marries many women in series (one at a time, leaving the one before to marry another thru divorce or neglect) is not.

This situation is directly opposite to God's law.

10 If a man takes a second wife, he must continue to give his first wife the same amount of food and clothing and the same rights that she had before.- Exodus 21:10

This particular law of God is short and clear. God does not condemn a man having two or more wives at the same time. As long as he does not leave, abandon and neglect the needs of his other wife/wives.

How about man's law of today? Allowing divorce made it legal for everyone to have more than one spouse, not just the man, but also the woman. Provided, they abandon first their former spouses, leave their place of common residence and try to make a new home out of the latest marriage, which of course is also subject to the uncertainty of staying whole as the former one.

What are the actual societal effect of this man made laws? For one, it produced a lot of broken families. Broken hearted people and delinquent children who lacked the guidance of both parents, separated by divorce. The children that grew in a divorced household has the greater tendency to have the same marital situation later in their lives, thus perpetuating the ill effects of divorce laws.

While on other countries that has no divorce, men and women commonly have extra marital affairs that also result in broken families. The man may have more than one sexual partner and yet when caught, the usual result is, him being freed from the responsibilities from his other relations. Giving him more time and resources to continue having other women. This situation gives way to more single parent women and children who grew without one of the biological parents. Sad, true and very prevalent.

Now let us compare that to what God has declared as lawful.

A man may have more than one wife provided he does not neglect the others. What are the effects? Imagine a man who have to keep providing for all his relationships? Isn't it one of the best detriment to being promiscuous? It will deter a man to get more than one woman if he have to support all of them and the resulting children! While if a man can really afford to have more than one wife, what will be the effect on the household? There will be more people involved in keeping things in order! If they will be responsible for the upbringing and education of the children, there will be more than two parents who will handle such responsibilities. Isn't this way better than a broken family, way better than single parents trying to make ends meet and having no chance to educate their children because they have to earn money for their support?

Remember the situation of Israel? It is a nation that came out from Jacob with his 4 wives. Was their situation worst than the situation of nations that ban multiple wives and allow divorce? No. Israel's(Jacob) family had a better situation, there were 5 parents providing for the needs of the family and they shared responsibilities while staying as a whole family.

You may be wondering: Isn't adultery prohibited by God in the Bible? Yes, of course it is. Adultery is prohibited in the Bible as defined by God and not as defined by man. What do I mean? I mean that, there is a big discrepancy between those two definitions.

14 "You shall not commit adultery... 17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, - Exodus 20:14,17

Because in God's Law, adultery only happens between a married woman to another man, having a sexual relation to a man who is not her husband.

It means that according to God's Law the following are classified as adultery:

1. A married woman having sexual relation to another man other than her husband.

2. A divorced woman having sexual relation to another man even if they marry according to their country's law.

"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." - Matthew 5:32 NIV

3. A divorced woman, having sexual relation to her former husband.

"then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance." - Deuteronomy 24:4

4. An unmarried woman having sexual relations with two or more man which are not her husband, which in this case is also categorized as prostitution.

And the following are not adultery:

1. A widow having sexual relation with a man who is married or not.

2. A man(married or not) having sexual relations with an unmarried woman is not adultery. With the provision that after taking the virgin woman, the man have to treat her as his wife. From then on, the man will have to treat that woman as his wife and provide for her needs and the child that may result on such sexual relations.

In these 2 preceding cases, the woman who engage in such sexual relations to a man (who is married or not) would be treated from thereon as another wife of the man she engage in sex with. The man on the other hand is bound to treat her as such and should now provide for her. That is YHWH's law.

"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. - Exodus 22:16

28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. - Deuteronomy 22:28-29

15 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love,- Deuteronomy 21:15

10 If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. - Exodus 21:10

In light of God's words above, it should be very clear that the present society's marriage laws and regulations has diverted so far away from God's way of doing things. This is not surprising to happen in this facet of human life, considering how man and the fallen angels that influence them have the inclination to disobey God and instead impose their own way of thinking and doing things.

Humanity has been blinded by the feigned righteousness of those who claim as guardians and defenders of the sanctity of marriage and family while in fact being the very cause of broken families and broken people that are caused by the imposition of man-made (evil inspired) rules upon other men.

20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.- Isaiah 5:20

Indeed, many people today have all the semblance of morality and yet missing the real standard of morality, which is God. Calling good the things that are actually evil: divorce, adulterous remarriage, same-sex marriages.

What are the results of the current accepted morality regarding these issues?

1. Broken families - The human law requiring man or woman to divorce first their former spouses before allowing the next marriage, leaving a lot of broken families in its trail, a lot of sad, hurt and weighed-down people of the reality that they have to attend to the responsibilities of rearing children all alone, which in turn results in countless people to grow in an unbalanced environment, lacking in proper parental discipline and sense of family bond, these children will in turn repeat the ONLY way of life they have known, broken family.

2. Irresponsible men - Taking advantage of the situation that a man can have as many women and children without really being obligated to support them, but rather the law requires that he leaves his current marriage before proceeding to his new conquest, many men take as many women as their lifestyle can afford them access and make them pregnant only to leave them again for the next woman.

3. Promiscuous/adulterous women - It is clear on God's law that a woman remains married to her first husband up to the death of either one of them, a divorced woman is actually in an adulterous relationship when she engages in sexual relationship with any other man, actually even to her former husband, since God's law prohibits a man to remarry his divorced wife.

But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.- Matthew 5:32

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."- Matthew 19:9

11 He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her;12 and if a wife divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."- Mark 10:11-12

"... and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.- Luke 16:18

Clearly, for God being divorced does not confer to any woman the right to marry again! She will be adulterous if she does so. Even to her former husband.

1 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. - Deuteronomy 24:1-4

Therefore, God's law on marriage is like this:

A man may marry more than one wife as long as the woman is not pledged for marriage to any other man, not currently married and is not a divorcee. A man can marry a non married woman and a widower.

A woman can only marry one husband, she will be bound to him until death or the man committed adultery by having sexual relation to another married woman, in which case, she can ask for divorce but even if the divorce is granted she cannot marry again any other man or her former husband. She have to stay unmarried till the day she dies or she will be committing adultery in the eyes of God.

This is God's standard of morality about marriage. It is hard, but it is way better than any human can devise. And God has all the authority to set rules regarding these issues.

You, who do you think should be followed about marriage? God or man?